I have been on the Internet since the beginning of time. The Internet has been my childhood friend, real and imaginary. Growing up socially awkward (otherwise awesome), I have read up things and come across so many people that I could consider myself a fairly good judge of people.
One thing that stands out here is how bitter people are over the Internet. So many derive sadistic pleasure by just being vile because of the anonymity Internet allows. There are also people here who bring with them years and years of emotional baggage. Of heartbreak, of setbacks, of the love lost. Of being bullied because you do not fit into the societal norm of being ‘normal’. We have all been there. The Internet has also been very accepting of us lot, the ones who are not ‘normal’.
But a growing trend I have seen over last few years (because as you grow older, you become more of an observer than an participant) is that people over the Internet are very bitter. They are unhappy, they are sad, they are broken (some because of what they’ve gone through, but mostly, because of how they react to what they have gone through) and are extremely bitter.
Their idea of happiness stems from other’s misery. If they have been bullied in their younger days, they double up as social justice warriors with a mob, who bully anyone who doesn’t agree with them. They are, in effect, just what they are fighting against, no? Back in 2012 I had a tumblr which was my everyday struggles online journal. I had forgotten how I an acquaintance over Twitter knew of the tumblr. I would write about my insecurities and little joys, and this guy would leave really mean comments. (don’t ask me how I figured it out, there is a reason I keep insisting Ajit Doval sir to hire me) He was really nice and supportive over WhatsApp and DM, but really, really cruel when he was armed with anonymity. It took me a long time to get over it. (he was really awful, Abhishek, if you’re reading this, you’re an asshole.)
But then I realised he was bitter towards me because he was extremely unhappy and bitter himself. He derived sadistic pleasure in making me feel miserable because he himself was so miserable in his life (perhaps because not really doing that well in his career has his parents might have expected/hoped for). I don’t really feel bad about that episode anymore (because 5 years have passed since then) but every once in a while I think of it and kick myself for developing a minor crush on this guy who was such an jackass to me.
Similarly, there are so many people I know of over Twitter who are fighting their own struggles and battles, but have in turn become so bitter. Some are lonely in their lives after a bitter break up or a divorce, some are bitter because they have always been bullied about their weight, some are bitter because of personal tragedies like death of a loved one and inability to cope with it without being a complete maniac, while some are lonely and bitter because they have such poor attitude, or clingy nature or just epitome of rudeness that they lose friends along the way.
Carrying emotional baggage is the worst kind of torture one can inflict upon themselves. Personal tragedies should humble you down. When I know how upsetting anonymous hate could be I have always refrained from doing the same. If I know how hurtful something like bullying could be, I would try I don’t end up being one.
We all go through shit in our lives. We all just need to learn to deal with it ourselves. We have to fight our demons on our own. And no one is obliged to fight them for you.
Oh, and you are in that situation because of yourself. No one else is to be blamed. You are choosing to react in a certain way because of whatever shit happened in your life. About time you stop blaming third person for your bitterness.
Your experiences should make you better, not bitter.