Yes, It has been little over a month since I published my first book, Flawed But Fabulous. As a writer, it was such a high to see my name as an author. I self published it on Amazon Kindle, and it just took the year 2016 to another high :)
I have been getting feedback from so many readers, most of whom I have never talked to before. And they all have mostly good things to say about it. I knew my friends would be kind and would say they love what I have written, because that’s what friends do – overlook your flaws and focus on your fabulousness (please note the subtle plug of the title of my book) but having strangers come and tell me they found what I wrote really funny, that is what makes me the happiest.
I finished writing the book sometime in August/September last year. That’s when I realised writing the book was the easier part.
It has been a year long struggle – of writing to publishers, agents, some being polite to reject, some not so polite – it was a tough year – there was a complete void and I was again on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown. But May onwards, things started looking up again.
I thought I will rewrite the manuscript and try again. Reach out to publishers, agents and try the same cycle again. I was just mustering up the courage to face rejection all over again. You know, trying and praying for the best but preparing myself for the worst kinds.
But I could not get myself to re-read the manuscript. My confidence had shattered. Maybe I am not as good enough as I thought I was. The constant companions – anxiety and self doubt had come back to me with a vengeance.
But just 2 days before Diwali, on a whim, I thought, fuck this shit. I will self publish on Kindle. Yes, my audience will get limited, but then, at least it will be out there. I just want more and more and more people to read what I have worked so so so very hard for.
I was out for people to judge, to ridicule and to criticise. I had put up something I had created with lot of love and care and hard work for people to judge. Know what, it is hard. Receiving feedback is tough. It is tough to read comments from strangers. You are constantly worried that the criticism would be too harsh. And the world is a cruel place.
But, I had to do it.
I knew I had done a good job. Not the best, not an award winning piece of work, but I was sure what I wrote was entertaining.
And I did.
I am so thankful for 2016 to have made me stronger than ever before. I am glad 2016 happened.
Meanwhile, do buy my book. :) It is fun, I promise. Link here. This is Amazon India page, but the book is available in Kindle stores world wide. Just go to your country store and search for Nirwa Mehta :)