So it was one late winter evening when I decided to Netflix and chill and landed on How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days. There’s something about romantic comedies that warms up my heart. You know, the warm fuzzy feeling. The one which reinstates your belief in love, no matter how skewed your idea of love is?
We all have seen movies where the girlfriends/wives are clingy, whiny and perpetually suspicious of their boyfriends/husbands. (For the sake of convenience, I’ll henceforth write only girlfriends and boyfriends.)
But what about boyfriends? Obviously, it takes two to make a relationship work, right?
In this day of technology, where cheating, even if it is emotionally, is so easy, here are a few ways to lose your girl.
- Take her for granted. Everyone loves the chase. The part where you both are getting to know each other, and there’s the thrill of new romance. But once she says yes, the excitement is gone. Flirting with her comes down and flirting with other women increases. “I’m only flirting with them, but I love you,” they say. Naah, doesn’t work that way. Not cool. There will be a time till which she will let it go because she doesn’t want to come across as clingy, suspicious girlfriend, but one fine day, when things get too much to handle, she will lose her interest in you. Before you know it, she will shrug and move on.
- Keep doing things she explicitly says she doesn’t like because, ‘my life, my rules’. Yes, your life, your rules, but it is okay for each of you to bend your rules a little to adjust for each other. If you aren’t ready to change a little for her, well, she isn’t ready either. As I said, don’t take her for granted.
- “I will leave you” threat. Well, then, just do. Make it easier for her to move on with her life without having a jerk like you in her life. No one deserves love with comes with a condition that if you displease me, I will leave you lurking over the head all the time. Relationships should come with some sort of emotional security. This isn’t it. And trust me, before you leave her, she will leave you.
- Hiding relationship from friends. Hopefully, someone will put some sense into her head and tell her that it is a red flag when he refuses to acknowledge her as an important part of his life and she will gather her dignity and move on. Also, don’t lie. She knows you’re lying, but is overlooking it because, well, love is blind and makes really smart people act stupidly.
- Lack of communication. Are you around when she needs you as an emotional support? Do you always put her down if she has a differing opinion? Do you believe in raking up past issues and things that hurt her? Do you deliberately choose to say hurtful things to her because she doesn’t like it? Well, breaking news: you will lose her.
These are the very basic decent things someone expects in a relationship, but over the last few years I have generally observed these around me and you’d be surprised how a lot of men mess things up for themselves.
Don’t be that guy.