I would like to blame it on the Yash Chopra and Karan Johar movies I grew up watching, for my misplaced sense of love and romance and happily ever after. But then, if watching violent movies don’t make you a murderer, watching rom-coms shouldn’t make you a pathetic romantic loser, no?
Is being romantic bad? Is it bad that I have hopes that some day I will come across someone who will truly, madly, deeply fall in love with me? Is it wrong to be hopeful?
Especially when you know where your flaws are. I know I am not the kind of person guys fall in love with. I am not pretty, wear sexy clothes, updated with fashion trends.
I wear loose simple cotton clothes, and most of the times, footwear which is more comfortable than trendy. I carry a backpack around. I am more likely to be found sitting alone in a cafe than partying with a bunch of friends. (mostly because I live in Gujarat where the only place you can possibly party is also cafes. Also because I don’t have a lot of friends.)
One time this guy was drinking black coffee by himself at Zen cafe (yes, that’s my favourite, in case you haven’t figured it out yet). He was just sitting there. Possibly waiting for his friends. Where we looked at each other. Locked eyes, and then I looked away. Because.
A friend joined me in few minutes and he was still sitting there, sipping his coffee, casually glancing towards me. Extremely strong peripheral vision. I glanced back too. Because that’s what I do when I get conscious.
Few minutes later, his friends (presumably) joined him. A chatty bunch they are. Cacophony of sounds, including the whiniest voice emerged from that corner. This guy is still the quietest one. He probably came in early to soak in the silence before the noise comes in. From the corner of my eye I can still glance towards me every few minutes.
Few minutes later the bunch of friends left.. I was still there with my friend.. (for someone who claims to be shy and introvert, I do tend to talk a lot) we left in another half an hour.. As we left the cafe, he was still there.. sitting on the concrete bench, right outside the cafe. Just staring into nothingness.
We looked at each other again. This time, a little longer than 2 second gaze.. and this time too, I was the first to look away.
After that day, I have seen him a few times at the same cafe. But we have never interacted.
Then for a month I didn’t see him.. I didn’t give much thought to it. (loljk, I sometimes wondered where he was – I find strangers fascinating)
Then one day I was meeting a friend.. this time, we chose a coffee day outlet near my house (in case you’re wondering, Mansi circle – if you ever see me there, come say HI. I don’t bite)
As I parked, I had a familiar feeling.. I looked around.. Yes, same guy, almost as surprised to see me there as I was to see him. As my friend was waiting for me already, I went inside, and now it has been over a month and I’ve not seen him.
No, I’m not in love with him (though the post starts on love and romance), but the concept of missed connections. What if there was a reason we were there at the same time?
What if there is a reason to why we come across people. Is serendipity real?
What if I hadn’t followed some people (on twitter, I don’t follow people in real life, that’s creepy. Internet roxxx) I have met in real life who have become some of my greatest friends?
What if I hadn’t replied to some emails?
I know I may never see the guy at cafe again. What if I had gathered enough courage to go up and say hi? Could we have been friends now?
And in a very what-is-the-purpose-of-life style question, what if there is a reason you are reading this blog (other than that I plugged it on Twitter and you just clicked on it because I’m kind of cute)
More than the ifs, the world needs to ask more what ifs, because we truly live only once, and life is too short to think twice when your gut feeling says otherwise.