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12 Habits That Distinguish The Internet Liberal

Manu Joseph wrote an article on Huffington Post on how to spot a patriot. Well, since we are talking about armchair activism, here is something I think will help.

An Internet Liberal considers Pakistani porn a piece of modern art where roleplay of a chaiwala is their most searched keyword. ‘Chaiwala please take my ovaries and fertilize my  eggs and let me have your babies!’ is something you shouldn’t be too surprised to read.

An Internet Liberal likes to say it is gross injustice and he/she is being targeted for being vocal against the government when he/she gets notice for non-payment of taxes. Why pay taxes when you can contribute in nation building by drinking fine wine and discussing how to eradicate poverty.

An Internet Liberal finds the national anthem overrated because fuck nationalism.

An Internet Liberal is reading The Communist Manifesto to figure out to destroy the idea of nationalism.

An Internet Liberal is under tremendous pressure to prove that terrorists have no religion or country, especially when they come from across the border. Men across the border are hotter than Indian counterparts and how can someone so goodlooking have jihadist tendencies and allahuakbar innocent people at will? They are just ‘misguided youth’. :(

An Internet Liberal’s father is or was a liberal. Wait. Is this patriarchal to credit his ‘liberal’ view to his father’s benign dictatorial tendencies?

An Internet Liberal constantly seeks to let the world know he/she is an atheist while hating everything Hinduism. When called out on bullshit, he/she proceeds to tell how they belong to ‘xyz (non Hindu) religion’ (but is an atheist). On further calling out on bullshit, he/she proceeds to say he/she is being targeted because he/she is from minority community (again, which is religion based, but he/she is an atheist). We are still trying to figure out how this works.

An Internet Liberal has the capacity to hate everyone who does not agree with them and will dish out labels promptly.

An Internet Liberal finds being an Indian overrated because he/she didn’t choose to be born here and there is no reason to be proud of something you have little choice of.

An Internet Liberal has to distance himself from everything Hinduism every four hours.

An Internet Liberal’s friends are also Internet liberals.

An Internet Liberal would feel that people with an opinion different than them are very hateful. He would wonder why they seem so vicious?

1 Comment

  1. haha well written, got here via twitter.

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